Beard of the False Archmage (Wondrous item, uncommon, requires attunement by a non-spellcaster): Fool the robe-wearing elites with this enchanted beard, designed for non-spellcasters who are tired of being underestimated and want to crash the arcane party. Cast the flashiest spells and make the real wizards squint in envy. You’ll fake arcane theory, enchant random junk, and smile politely as they nod along, stewing in their spell slots.

Boots of the Clodhopper (Wondrous item, uncommon, requires attunement): Triple your jump distance, double your swim speed, and leap wildly across the battlefield in oversized, unsettling feet that nobody will ever unsee.

Grandglasses (Wondrous item, uncommon): Slip on these enchanted spectacles to instantly shapechange into your oldest self, no disguise kit required.

Trivial Ioun Stone: Blink (Wondrous item, uncommon): Never blink again—ever—and now everyone finds you deeply unsettling.

Trivial Ioun Stone: Bones (Wondrous item, uncommon): Turn completely invisible whenever you want… except for your skeleton, which unfortunately remains completely visible.

Trivial Ioun Stone: Drunk (Wondrous item, uncommon): Stay permanently sloshed: disadvantage on basically everything except Charisma checks, where your wine-soaked confidence suddenly becomes a social asset.

Trivial Ioun Stone: Hair (Wondrous item, uncommon): Grow one foot of hair per day. The longer it grows, the stronger you become.

Trivial Ioun Stone: Horn (Wondrous item, uncommon): Sprout a long, majestic horn from your forehead and gain the power to stab things with your face.

Trivial Ioun Stone: Hover (Wondrous item, uncommon): Elevate yourself—literally—hovering three inches above the ground like a being of pure superiority. Shame it’s just an illusion.

Trivial Ioun Stone: Plant (Wondrous item, uncommon): Your skin and hair turn a radiant shade of green, and you no longer need to eat—though you will need daily sunbathing, and yes, people will notice (and have questions).

Bracelet of the Helping Hand (Wondrous item, rare, requires attunement): Detach your hand and send it leaping, climbing, or punching across the battlefield like it’s got something to prove (because it does). Your new familiar has its own stat block, throws haymaker dive-bombs that knock enemies flat, and can grapple or choke foes into submission. Finally, a familiar that can help during combat instead of just whimpering in your pocket, waiting for a tummy rub.

Clip-On Tailpiece (Wondrous item, rare, requires attunement): Gain a fully functional flesh-and-blood tail for stylish movement and bonus Dexterity—at the cost of everyone’s comfort.

Gossip's Delight (Ring, rare): Transform into a tasteful piece of furniture for up to three hours—silent, motionless, and utterly incapable of acting—perfect for eavesdropping, dramatic entrances, or becoming someone’s favorite armchair.

Minify Hat (Wondrous item, rare): Don this tall, red, conical hat and shrink to Tiny size for a full hour of hiding in pockets and scampering beneath doors or between boots. Yes, you can use friends and animals as a mount.

Ring of the Ribbeteer (Wondrous item, rare, requires attunement): Become a frog-adjacent menace with climbing skills, underwater breathing, and a tongue you can weaponize.

Tome of Outer Hand Initiation (Wondrous item, very rare, single-use): This ancient tome has a lot going for it—an obscure cult no one's ever heard of and a ritual that grants you extra fingers and mysterious magical powers from an eldritch entity that absolutely doesn't exist anymore (wink).  Sure, people might recoil when they see your hands, but that’s the price of attaining cursed arcane power the old fashioned way.